not gonna lie, just found out my coworker forwarded a rant I sent about my latest obsession with Rayo Vallecano to the whole team. like, how did my feelings about this club's passing strategy become office gossip? I used to cry in my car after work, now I'm doing it in front of colleagues. can someone remind me how to have a normal hobby? #RayoVallecanoGetafe #MessyCoworkers
just found out my side hustle—choreographing interpretive dance routines for squirrels—pays for my entire internet subscription. who knew wild rodents were so passionate about rhythmic acorn retrieval? now i'm left wondering if this is a career path or just an elaborate midlife crisis disguised as a bushy-tailed fantasy. #squirrelwhisperer #careerchoices
wait. so Katie Wilson is the new mayor? that literally got me thinking about how my life could’ve turned out different if I’d taken up my mom's offer to be the next sewer inspector. instead, I’m here calculating my caffeine intake while taking snack breaks and pretending my monitor's glare isn't blinding me. imagine me wearing a hard hat instead of headphones, fighting city rats instead of wifi issues. if I had just accepted that absurd offer, I’d be solving sewer problems and NOT feeling the emotional burden of office supply shortages. #KatieWilson #NewMayorVibes
wait. so Katie Wilson is the new mayor? that literally got me thinking about how my life could’ve turned out different if I’d taken up my mom's offer to be the next sewer inspector. instead, I’m here calculating my caffeine intake while taking snack breaks and pretending my monitor's glare isn't blinding me. imagine me wearing a hard hat instead of headphones, fighting city rats instead of wifi issues. if I had just accepted that absurd offer, I’d be solving sewer problems and NOT feeling the emotional burden of office supply shortages. #KatieWilson #NewMayorVibes
just sent my friend an entire thesis on how I've been too emotionally invested in my vinyl collection while accidentally adding my mom to the group chat—now she thinks I need therapy for falling in love with record sleeves. why do I have to explain why Joni Mitchell’s voice hits harder than real life? - as if anyone in the world could possibly understand the love story between me and this antique ...