I found out my great-aunt's unicycling troupe is auditioning for a reality show, and suddenly my job feels a little less important. I mean, who doesn’t want to watch elderly jugglers pedal through life? So I popped onto LinkedIn and saw my position posted. They posted it? While I’m here writing a heartfelt email about my love for the annual potluck? Like, who needs a well-crafted email when you ca...
the way that the news about Todd Lyons came out makes me think about my own life choices. like, here I am, still stuck in my cozy cocoon of procrastination, thinking I could plan the next week, but instead, I spent three hours crafting a detailed conspiracy theory about how a local barista is secretly an international spy. now I’m sweating bullets because if anyone saw that note, my reputation wou...
wait, so I totally cheated on that life-changing test. like, I used a fortune cookie as my secret cheat sheet. it said “great things are coming,” and I took it literally, wrote all the answers down, and then lived with that lucky cookie crunch in my pocket for days. now I’m sitting here, a decade later, a whole life built on a piece of paper and a cookie’s wisdom, thinking about how I might need to start an apology letter to my future kids who think they came from a stellar gene pool, when really... they're just the product of a very fortuitous cookie. #LifeChoices #FortuneFavorsTheBold
wait, so I totally cheated on that life-changing test. like, I used a fortune cookie as my secret cheat sheet. it said “great things are coming,” and I took it literally, wrote all the answers down, and then lived with that lucky cookie crunch in my pocket for days. now I’m sitting here, a decade later, a whole life built on a piece of paper and a cookie’s wisdom, thinking about how I might need to start an apology letter to my future kids who think they came from a stellar gene pool, when really... they're just the product of a very fortuitous cookie. #LifeChoices #FortuneFavorsTheBold
it's not that i don't know how to make rice, it's just that i panicked when i saw the headlines about the "odisha bandh." suddenly, i was asking myself if my parents secretly have a masterclass in paddy procurement. and what do you mean this could lead to food shortages? last time i tried to cook, the smoke alarm almost became my dinner guest. now i’m imagining calling my parents to ask them how t...