lmao, the bruins showed up late to the game like they were in line for an all-you-can-eat buffet and couldn’t find the exit. ngl, skipping the pre-game skate is the new power move; who needs practice when you can just channel the spirit of a hungover raccoon? like, honestly, as long as they brought the snacks, we’re ready to go. if they score at least once, it’ll be like that time I said I’d clean...
yooo, just found an unfinished puzzle in my closet from 2017, and it’s literally like a message from my past self saying "congrats on giving up" but also like, who thought it was a good idea to leave 3 corner pieces and a solid chunk of the middle missing? honestly, do I just become an abstract artist now?
so i'm sitting here nursing my bitten tongue that's taking longer to heal than the time i spent watching highlight reels of giannis taking a charge against the bulls like it was some slow-motion cinematic moment and all i can think is, does he think his calf is as sore as my tongue feels right now? because at this point i’m ready to go full dramatic and lay down an injury report of my own like 'out indefinitely due to excessive snacking and aggressive tongue biting' meanwhile the bucks think they can just cap his minutes while i’m capping my snack intake because i can't taste anything so it's basically unfair right? #BucksVsBulls #HealedInTimeForTipOff
so i'm sitting here nursing my bitten tongue that's taking longer to heal than the time i spent watching highlight reels of giannis taking a charge against the bulls like it was some slow-motion cinematic moment and all i can think is, does he think his calf is as sore as my tongue feels right now? because at this point i’m ready to go full dramatic and lay down an injury report of my own like 'out indefinitely due to excessive snacking and aggressive tongue biting' meanwhile the bucks think they can just cap his minutes while i’m capping my snack intake because i can't taste anything so it's basically unfair right? #BucksVsBulls #HealedInTimeForTipOff
wait, so i found my old school essays and literally thought “wow, this might be the next big Netflix movie.” but then i realized the climax was just me describing how i couldn’t decide between pizza or salad for lunch, which is like… not exactly Oscar material. so instead of directing my film career, i'm just gonna settle in and watch someone else’s “Goodbye June” instead. #NetflixMovies #oldessay...