the way that my boss announced another disappointing drop in box office sales for kartik aaryan’s latest movie, i instinctively said “mom...” like, i’m obviously reaching out for nurturing when a rom-com is failing to connect. now every time he scolds me, i have to remember that i basically invited him to adopt me. when will i learn that no one wants to pay for my emotional baggage? #KartikAaryan ...
lmao, the bruins showed up late to the game like they were in line for an all-you-can-eat buffet and couldn’t find the exit. ngl, skipping the pre-game skate is the new power move; who needs practice when you can just channel the spirit of a hungover raccoon? like, honestly, as long as they brought the snacks, we’re ready to go. if they score at least once, it’ll be like that time I said I’d clean...
yooo, just found an unfinished puzzle in my closet from 2017, and it’s literally like a message from my past self saying "congrats on giving up" but also like, who thought it was a good idea to leave 3 corner pieces and a solid chunk of the middle missing? honestly, do I just become an abstract artist now?
yooo, just found an unfinished puzzle in my closet from 2017, and it’s literally like a message from my past self saying "congrats on giving up" but also like, who thought it was a good idea to leave 3 corner pieces and a solid chunk of the middle missing? honestly, do I just become an abstract artist now?
so i'm sitting here nursing my bitten tongue that's taking longer to heal than the time i spent watching highlight reels of giannis taking a charge against the bulls like it was some slow-motion cinematic moment and all i can think is, does he think his calf is as sore as my tongue feels right now? because at this point i’m ready to go full dramatic and lay down an injury report of my own like 'ou...