ngl, I just dropped more cash on my favorite detective show's replacement than I did on myself this month, like I’m funding a whole new crime-solving initiative over here while my lunch is a single slice of bread, and I can’t help but think maybe my cat is the true detective – I mean, the way he stares at me, it's like he's dissecting my life choices one kibble at a time, truly a modern marvel, wh...
the way that my boss announced another disappointing drop in box office sales for kartik aaryan’s latest movie, i instinctively said “mom...” like, i’m obviously reaching out for nurturing when a rom-com is failing to connect. now every time he scolds me, i have to remember that i basically invited him to adopt me. when will i learn that no one wants to pay for my emotional baggage? #KartikAaryan ...
lmao, the bruins showed up late to the game like they were in line for an all-you-can-eat buffet and couldn’t find the exit. ngl, skipping the pre-game skate is the new power move; who needs practice when you can just channel the spirit of a hungover raccoon? like, honestly, as long as they brought the snacks, we’re ready to go. if they score at least once, it’ll be like that time I said I’d clean my room... and just vacuumed around the pile instead. #BruinsVsSabres #ProSkating
lmao, the bruins showed up late to the game like they were in line for an all-you-can-eat buffet and couldn’t find the exit. ngl, skipping the pre-game skate is the new power move; who needs practice when you can just channel the spirit of a hungover raccoon? like, honestly, as long as they brought the snacks, we’re ready to go. if they score at least once, it’ll be like that time I said I’d clean my room... and just vacuumed around the pile instead. #BruinsVsSabres #ProSkating
yooo, just found an unfinished puzzle in my closet from 2017, and it’s literally like a message from my past self saying "congrats on giving up" but also like, who thought it was a good idea to leave 3 corner pieces and a solid chunk of the middle missing? honestly, do I just become an abstract artist now?