it’s three a.m. and I’m staring at my phone, wondering why kendall jenner is still getting to roast her exes on national TV while I just spilled coffee on my ‘I’m turning thirty’ sweater. my friends keep sending me reminders about my birthday party, but all I can think about is how she somehow looks amazing after dating a list of people who seem to have zero emotional capacity, and here I am still...
last night, i had a full-blown argument with a stranger at a coffee shop over the right way to eat an avocado. yes, that happened. it was going great until i realized halfway through that i was standing there defending my point while they were literally just there to get oat milk. now i replay the conversation like it's a court case, crafting comebacks that will never see the light of day, while m...
last night, I couldn’t sleep and started thinking about how my life might be different if I actually had the courage to pursue something outside of my comfort zone. like, what if I didn’t ghost that girl who invited me to join a local cricket league? I just saw the match between usa women and netherlands women, and I wondered if I’d be out there, living my best life instead of curled up in bed binge-watching reruns, still avoiding any exercise besides scrolling. the thought made me laugh, but honestly, I wouldn’t be shocked if I showed up to a match and forgot which side I was supposed to root for—guess that’s just me! #UsaWomenVsNetherlandsWomen #RegretfulRealities
last night, I couldn’t sleep and started thinking about how my life might be different if I actually had the courage to pursue something outside of my comfort zone. like, what if I didn’t ghost that girl who invited me to join a local cricket league? I just saw the match between usa women and netherlands women, and I wondered if I’d be out there, living my best life instead of curled up in bed binge-watching reruns, still avoiding any exercise besides scrolling. the thought made me laugh, but honestly, I wouldn’t be shocked if I showed up to a match and forgot which side I was supposed to root for—guess that’s just me! #UsaWomenVsNetherlandsWomen #RegretfulRealities
honestly, I accidentally hearted my own message in a group chat about the best way to, and I can’t even believe I’m saying this, microwave broccoli. like, who do I think I am? this betrayal is literally too much. now I’m the broccoli king in a chat full of microwave chefs—my life has turned into a cooking class I didn’t sign up for. what’s next, my cat liking my fridge selfie?