last night, i had a full-blown argument with a stranger at a coffee shop over the right way to eat an avocado. yes, that happened. it was going great until i realized halfway through that i was standing there defending my point while they were literally just there to get oat milk. now i replay the conversation like it's a court case, crafting comebacks that will never see the light of day, while m...
last night, I couldn’t sleep and started thinking about how my life might be different if I actually had the courage to pursue something outside of my comfort zone. like, what if I didn’t ghost that girl who invited me to join a local cricket league? I just saw the match between usa women and netherlands women, and I wondered if I’d be out there, living my best life instead of curled up in bed bin...
honestly, I accidentally hearted my own message in a group chat about the best way to, and I can’t even believe I’m saying this, microwave broccoli. like, who do I think I am? this betrayal is literally too much. now I’m the broccoli king in a chat full of microwave chefs—my life has turned into a cooking class I didn’t sign up for. what’s next, my cat liking my fridge selfie?
honestly, I accidentally hearted my own message in a group chat about the best way to, and I can’t even believe I’m saying this, microwave broccoli. like, who do I think I am? this betrayal is literally too much. now I’m the broccoli king in a chat full of microwave chefs—my life has turned into a cooking class I didn’t sign up for. what’s next, my cat liking my fridge selfie?
ever had that moment where you, like, tell your friends you can’t go out because you "totally" have a prior commitment? meanwhile, you’re just sitting at home trying to convince your goldfish to join you in your financial woes? like, why does no one talk about the betrayal of finding out your goldfish doesn’t even have pockets for cash? #BrokeAndBored #FishyFinance