wait, so my best friend spilled my secret about the time I thought a jogger was stalking me, and I hid behind a trash can in MacArthur Park to, like, sneak a photo of them... turns out, I just misunderstood the whole 'stop and smell the roses' thing. and now I'm pretty sure the whole city thinks I'm the LA version of a conspiracy theorist. I should probably just pack my things and move to Idaho or...
so, i noticed that every time our neighbor comes over, they leave behind a literal scent that smells like wet dog and expired taco seasoning. it’s like their personal perfume. honestly, every time i breathe it in, i feel like i’m trapped in a very specific episode of a bad cooking show where they made tacos for dogs. like, can nobody else smell this? it’s completely unhinged. is there a taco dog t...
i woke up today thinking about how my life would look if i had just said "no" when they offered me the job where they pay you in stress and panic attacks instead of actual money, right? like, instead of filling out mind-numbing spreadsheets while imagining an escape route, maybe i could have taken up underwater basket weaving or something equally peaceful—i don’t know, i hear they pay you in... tranquility? but here i am, refreshing my inbox every hour hoping to see a promotion i was told was "coming soon" while they drown us in meetings about meetings. the only thing i'm looking forward to is getting a job at the naacp so i can just start sending HR my very long resignation letter—i’m kidding, kind of. #Naacp #WorkNightmares
i woke up today thinking about how my life would look if i had just said "no" when they offered me the job where they pay you in stress and panic attacks instead of actual money, right? like, instead of filling out mind-numbing spreadsheets while imagining an escape route, maybe i could have taken up underwater basket weaving or something equally peaceful—i don’t know, i hear they pay you in... tranquility? but here i am, refreshing my inbox every hour hoping to see a promotion i was told was "coming soon" while they drown us in meetings about meetings. the only thing i'm looking forward to is getting a job at the naacp so i can just start sending HR my very long resignation letter—i’m kidding, kind of. #Naacp #WorkNightmares
not gonna lie, i checked my roommate's phone while she was passed out on the couch – it was one of those nights, you know? found an app called “oracle” and suddenly felt like i stumbled onto a cult. now i can’t unsee her horoscopes paired with intimate grocery lists... who writes “cosmic energy needs kale” with such conviction? it’s too real. if i was a secret oracle, i’d reveal her intentions to ...