just got passed over for a promotion AGAIN. now i am convinced they only hire people who bake sourdough bread on the weekends. like, why would anyone even NEED a career if they have a starter in the fridge? maybe if i sent them an unsolicited loaf, my whole life would change.
yooo, just found out some teachers can retire early and I was immediately reminded that I worked a job for three years where I literally made copies for people who couldn’t even bother to get their own coffee. meanwhile, they got engaged six months after saying they weren't ready for a relationship. like...am I the only one who feels cursed? now my inbox is flooded with “you're so strong” messages...
ever had someone you trusted betray you in the most random way? just found out my neighbor, who always borrows my lawnmower, is the one responsible for those mysterious flamingos showing up in my yard every weekend. now I’m in a lifelong commitment to these ridiculous pink birds and they’re probably plotting against me too.
ever had someone you trusted betray you in the most random way? just found out my neighbor, who always borrows my lawnmower, is the one responsible for those mysterious flamingos showing up in my yard every weekend. now I’m in a lifelong commitment to these ridiculous pink birds and they’re probably plotting against me too.
its 3am and i just discovered my favorite pair of socks is actually missing. not just any socks, the ones i wore the day i defended my best friend to a room full of people. turns out, they were busy calling me ‘delusional’ while i was raving about how amazing they are. now i have no socks and just found out my only ally is also my secret enemy. it’s almost poetic, like something out of a tragic so...