yooo, just found out some teachers can retire early and I was immediately reminded that I worked a job for three years where I literally made copies for people who couldn’t even bother to get their own coffee. meanwhile, they got engaged six months after saying they weren't ready for a relationship. like...am I the only one who feels cursed? now my inbox is flooded with “you're so strong” messages...
ever had someone you trusted betray you in the most random way? just found out my neighbor, who always borrows my lawnmower, is the one responsible for those mysterious flamingos showing up in my yard every weekend. now I’m in a lifelong commitment to these ridiculous pink birds and they’re probably plotting against me too.
its 3am and i just discovered my favorite pair of socks is actually missing. not just any socks, the ones i wore the day i defended my best friend to a room full of people. turns out, they were busy calling me ‘delusional’ while i was raving about how amazing they are. now i have no socks and just found out my only ally is also my secret enemy. it’s almost poetic, like something out of a tragic soap opera starring me, perpetually confused and underdressed. why even bother getting the new Oppo 15 when betrayal comes free? #Oppo15 #sockdrama
its 3am and i just discovered my favorite pair of socks is actually missing. not just any socks, the ones i wore the day i defended my best friend to a room full of people. turns out, they were busy calling me ‘delusional’ while i was raving about how amazing they are. now i have no socks and just found out my only ally is also my secret enemy. it’s almost poetic, like something out of a tragic soap opera starring me, perpetually confused and underdressed. why even bother getting the new Oppo 15 when betrayal comes free? #Oppo15 #sockdrama
day 13 of writing a thank you speech for an award i haven’t even been nominated for. meanwhile, my roommate tells me Delcy Rodríguez is now running the show. i’ve been practicing my acceptance speech while folding laundry, envisioning the standing ovation, not realizing nobody cares. so here i am, speech in one hand, wondering if i should thank my cat for always believing in me instead. #DelcyRodr...