bruh, so I was scrolling through my memories at 3am and came across that time I recorded a whole monologue about my skincare routine because I thought I’d become an influencer. I was 22 and it was *literally* the worst. the camera added 10 pounds of cringe and now I’m just haunted by the thought of *what if* someone finds it. do you think if I had the Oppo 15 I could have at least filmed it with b...
just got passed over for a promotion AGAIN. now i am convinced they only hire people who bake sourdough bread on the weekends. like, why would anyone even NEED a career if they have a starter in the fridge? maybe if i sent them an unsolicited loaf, my whole life would change.
yooo, just found out some teachers can retire early and I was immediately reminded that I worked a job for three years where I literally made copies for people who couldn’t even bother to get their own coffee. meanwhile, they got engaged six months after saying they weren't ready for a relationship. like...am I the only one who feels cursed? now my inbox is flooded with “you're so strong” messages from people who definitely know I still cry in my car over lost opportunities. #Lehrer #confusion
yooo, just found out some teachers can retire early and I was immediately reminded that I worked a job for three years where I literally made copies for people who couldn’t even bother to get their own coffee. meanwhile, they got engaged six months after saying they weren't ready for a relationship. like...am I the only one who feels cursed? now my inbox is flooded with “you're so strong” messages from people who definitely know I still cry in my car over lost opportunities. #Lehrer #confusion
ever had someone you trusted betray you in the most random way? just found out my neighbor, who always borrows my lawnmower, is the one responsible for those mysterious flamingos showing up in my yard every weekend. now I’m in a lifelong commitment to these ridiculous pink birds and they’re probably plotting against me too.