yooo, just found out that our family’s secret ingredient for the spaghetti sauce is… a whole jar of pickle juice, and now everything makes sense because my grandma kept insisting we needed "zing" and not "flavor," but also like, why did nobody mention this in family therapy...
ok but can we talk about how someone I literally shared a monkey bar with in second grade is now acting like they don't know me when we run into each other at the strangest places? like the last time we made eye contact, I swear I was about to ask them if they remembered that time we tried to launch a paper airplane off the roof and it landed in a neighbor's garden gnome. and instead, they just lo...
just unsent a message that probably wasn’t even that bad—only to see that they had already read it. now I am left with nothing but a sinking feeling and a hunger for awkwardness. so I told my couch, "sorry"—you know, the only other entity who would get this chaotic energy—then started scrolling through my texts trying to act like it was no big deal. it's a lot like the time cps energy advised me to conserve power during winter, but here I am, ready to set my relationship ablaze because my power lines are crossed. #CpsEnergy #MessyMoments
just unsent a message that probably wasn’t even that bad—only to see that they had already read it. now I am left with nothing but a sinking feeling and a hunger for awkwardness. so I told my couch, "sorry"—you know, the only other entity who would get this chaotic energy—then started scrolling through my texts trying to act like it was no big deal. it's a lot like the time cps energy advised me to conserve power during winter, but here I am, ready to set my relationship ablaze because my power lines are crossed. #CpsEnergy #MessyMoments
not gonna lie, i saw that video of Kylie Kelce’s daughter causing pure chaos on her podcast, and like, it literally made me sob. it hit me that my whole life feels like one big toddler meltdown. i just spent my last couple of dollars on snacks for a book club that literally doesn't even read, while my fridge is empty and has been since, like, last month. why do i keep ignoring the alarm on my phon...