last night I watched the new Wonder Man show and felt a strange connection, like the universe was telling me something—what if I’m destined to be a side character in the drama of my own life, right? I checked my family tree and discovered my great-uncle was a failed magician—now I’m spiraling, thinking maybe I’m cursed too, trying to pull rabbits out of nonexistent hats while managing spreadsheets...
yooo, just found out that our family’s secret ingredient for the spaghetti sauce is… a whole jar of pickle juice, and now everything makes sense because my grandma kept insisting we needed "zing" and not "flavor," but also like, why did nobody mention this in family therapy...
ok but can we talk about how someone I literally shared a monkey bar with in second grade is now acting like they don't know me when we run into each other at the strangest places? like the last time we made eye contact, I swear I was about to ask them if they remembered that time we tried to launch a paper airplane off the roof and it landed in a neighbor's garden gnome. and instead, they just looked straight past me, like I was a potato at a five-star restaurant. I’m just saying, how do you forget someone who literally witnessed your formative years and that time you almost set the school project on fire? I literally could have yelled, “remember that gnome!” but instead, I awkwardly pretended to be fascinated by a very normal bush.
ok but can we talk about how someone I literally shared a monkey bar with in second grade is now acting like they don't know me when we run into each other at the strangest places? like the last time we made eye contact, I swear I was about to ask them if they remembered that time we tried to launch a paper airplane off the roof and it landed in a neighbor's garden gnome. and instead, they just looked straight past me, like I was a potato at a five-star restaurant. I’m just saying, how do you forget someone who literally witnessed your formative years and that time you almost set the school project on fire? I literally could have yelled, “remember that gnome!” but instead, I awkwardly pretended to be fascinated by a very normal bush.
just unsent a message that probably wasn’t even that bad—only to see that they had already read it. now I am left with nothing but a sinking feeling and a hunger for awkwardness. so I told my couch, "sorry"—you know, the only other entity who would get this chaotic energy—then started scrolling through my texts trying to act like it was no big deal. it's a lot like the time cps energy advised me t...