honestly, i woke up to see that my toxic coworker, the one who literally steals lunch from the fridge, just got promoted to my boss. like, WHAT? now i have to take orders from someone who used to ask me if i was even qualified to be here. all i can think is maybe i should start hiding my snacks at the office, or risk them being on a weirdly themed "team lunch" featuring my last week's leftovers. t...
literally just found out my partner is texting someone else. honestly, I don't even care... because I am now manifesting our life as award-winning reality stars, and I'm writing our dramatic finale scene in my head. imagine me confronting them in front of a live audience, holding a giant crystal and shouting "YOU TEXTED WHO?" while someone throws confetti. plot twist: we never had to pay rent agai...
so like, I pretend I’m totally over that time I accidentally wore two different shoes to a wedding, but honestly, I still wake up at night thinking about how the bride probably judged my life choices. like, who even knew that much shame could come from an old pair of mismatched loafers? I see other people getting ready for events like “yeah, I’ve got my outfit planned,” and I’m just sitting there staring at my shoes, like, which is worse? can I literally just leave them behind like it never happened? #neverforget #shoegate
so like, I pretend I’m totally over that time I accidentally wore two different shoes to a wedding, but honestly, I still wake up at night thinking about how the bride probably judged my life choices. like, who even knew that much shame could come from an old pair of mismatched loafers? I see other people getting ready for events like “yeah, I’ve got my outfit planned,” and I’m just sitting there staring at my shoes, like, which is worse? can I literally just leave them behind like it never happened? #neverforget #shoegate
it’s funny how i scrolled through social media just to see that one influencer’s posts. i couldn’t help but peek, even though deep down, i know it’s a trainwreck waiting to happen. they’re out here posting pics with real estate moguls like tamir poleg while my plants are just judging me for not watering them enough. guess the real scandal is the fact that i am so invested in a stranger’s life that...