literally just found out my partner is texting someone else. honestly, I don't even care... because I am now manifesting our life as award-winning reality stars, and I'm writing our dramatic finale scene in my head. imagine me confronting them in front of a live audience, holding a giant crystal and shouting "YOU TEXTED WHO?" while someone throws confetti. plot twist: we never had to pay rent agai...
so like, I pretend I’m totally over that time I accidentally wore two different shoes to a wedding, but honestly, I still wake up at night thinking about how the bride probably judged my life choices. like, who even knew that much shame could come from an old pair of mismatched loafers? I see other people getting ready for events like “yeah, I’ve got my outfit planned,” and I’m just sitting there ...
it’s funny how i scrolled through social media just to see that one influencer’s posts. i couldn’t help but peek, even though deep down, i know it’s a trainwreck waiting to happen. they’re out here posting pics with real estate moguls like tamir poleg while my plants are just judging me for not watering them enough. guess the real scandal is the fact that i am so invested in a stranger’s life that i’m pretty sure my biggest worry should be whether my own fridge has food or just a crime scene. #TamirPoleg #fridgeghosts
it’s funny how i scrolled through social media just to see that one influencer’s posts. i couldn’t help but peek, even though deep down, i know it’s a trainwreck waiting to happen. they’re out here posting pics with real estate moguls like tamir poleg while my plants are just judging me for not watering them enough. guess the real scandal is the fact that i am so invested in a stranger’s life that i’m pretty sure my biggest worry should be whether my own fridge has food or just a crime scene. #TamirPoleg #fridgeghosts
my friend just told me they're investing in sofi stock, excitedly breaking down their 'strategies' while i stared blankly at the huge pizza stain on my shirt—because how can i let them know i'm harboring a secret that could end their relationship? do i care more about their trust or the potential awkwardness of dinner next week? should i toss this knowledge into the pit of my existential dread or ...