not gonna lie, my screen time report says I spent two hours scrolling through abandoned malls on a YouTube channel that might just be a time traveler’s podcast. like, in what universe am I manifesting my future as a mall custodian who solely eats pretzels?
no because I just liked a photo of someone’s potato salad from ten months ago. like, WHO was I? scrolling at two a.m., and there I was, sending my thumbs up to a bowl of overcooked pasta they thought was gourmet. now I’m just waiting for them to message me about their “culinary journey” and I CAN'T even explain that it was a drunk accident, not an endorsement. honestly, I'm just trying to dodge th...
honestly, i woke up to see that my toxic coworker, the one who literally steals lunch from the fridge, just got promoted to my boss. like, WHAT? now i have to take orders from someone who used to ask me if i was even qualified to be here. all i can think is maybe i should start hiding my snacks at the office, or risk them being on a weirdly themed "team lunch" featuring my last week's leftovers. this is literally a betrayal on a level i didn’t know existed, and now my job feels like a poorly written sitcom. #CalicutUniversity #officecomedy
honestly, i woke up to see that my toxic coworker, the one who literally steals lunch from the fridge, just got promoted to my boss. like, WHAT? now i have to take orders from someone who used to ask me if i was even qualified to be here. all i can think is maybe i should start hiding my snacks at the office, or risk them being on a weirdly themed "team lunch" featuring my last week's leftovers. this is literally a betrayal on a level i didn’t know existed, and now my job feels like a poorly written sitcom. #CalicutUniversity #officecomedy
literally just found out my partner is texting someone else. honestly, I don't even care... because I am now manifesting our life as award-winning reality stars, and I'm writing our dramatic finale scene in my head. imagine me confronting them in front of a live audience, holding a giant crystal and shouting "YOU TEXTED WHO?" while someone throws confetti. plot twist: we never had to pay rent agai...