so, just found out my partner has been texting someone else. my first thought? perfect, like gold prices, now i know what to invest my energy in. as i obsessively refresh the gold rate online, contemplating my life choices, i can’t help but wonder if the fluctuations in their loyalty match today’s market. guess it’s time to turn my emotional meltdown into a trading strategy, because either way, i ...
not gonna lie, when I spilled laundry detergent all over my mom’s favorite sweater - I thought I was dead. she just looked at me, sighed, and said “I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed.” now I'm questioning everything - is there an emotion deeper than disappointment? because that’s how I feel when I find my fridge empty again and I remember I have no food skills whatsoever.
just found out my ex started dating my friend while scrolling through the latest news about the Hoosiers winning everything. why is this my life? like i can’t even keep track of my laundry, and now I have to process this relationship drama? honestly, it feels like watching Tim Tebow lead a team to victory while i’m over here tripping over my own feet. i half expected to get a notification saying they launched a joint Instagram account. instead, my notifications are just me updating my 'crushed by life' playlist. #TimTebow #relationshipgoals
just found out my ex started dating my friend while scrolling through the latest news about the Hoosiers winning everything. why is this my life? like i can’t even keep track of my laundry, and now I have to process this relationship drama? honestly, it feels like watching Tim Tebow lead a team to victory while i’m over here tripping over my own feet. i half expected to get a notification saying they launched a joint Instagram account. instead, my notifications are just me updating my 'crushed by life' playlist. #TimTebow #relationshipgoals
yooo, just saw my spotify wrapped and my top artist was a band that sings songs about sandwiches. like, how did they even get my mood so right? am i that predictable? now everyone knows i'm just a mess who gets emotional over food metaphors. great, cool, can’t wait to explain this at dinner.