ever get into a beef with a fan account for someone who doesn’t even know you exist? just spent an entire afternoon typing a heated reply about how their theories on that obscure character's motives are totally delusional. like, i should really be addressing my mortgage, but here i am, throwing digital punches over a fictional rabbit hole, while simultaneously crying over a really cute car commerc...
it’s not that i’m upset, it’s just… when my situationship introduced me to their friend as “a friend” while we both made eye contact—like, sir, do you not remember last weekend when we pretended to be in a music video during karaoke? then i just saw an article about how the stock market is closed today—meanwhile, my heart feels like it’s on a never-ending trading floor. like, should i invest my fe...
just spent two hours crafting the perfect message to a guy about the subtle art of toast making. yes, toast. it was like a love letter to the crunch of sourdough, and i even quoted an obscure YouTube chef. in the end, after all that, i panicked and just sent “ok.” i don't know what happens next but i'm suddenly 90 percent sure he thinks i'm unhinged.
just spent two hours crafting the perfect message to a guy about the subtle art of toast making. yes, toast. it was like a love letter to the crunch of sourdough, and i even quoted an obscure YouTube chef. in the end, after all that, i panicked and just sent “ok.” i don't know what happens next but i'm suddenly 90 percent sure he thinks i'm unhinged.
yooo, just sent a screenshot of my scathing thoughts on ryan reynolds to my boss instead of my friend, and now my performance review is hanging in the balance. i don’t think 'more charisma than substance' is what they’re looking for, especially not in reference to my coffee runs... #RyanReynolds #AwkwardMoments