it’s not that i’m upset, it’s just… when my situationship introduced me to their friend as “a friend” while we both made eye contact—like, sir, do you not remember last weekend when we pretended to be in a music video during karaoke? then i just saw an article about how the stock market is closed today—meanwhile, my heart feels like it’s on a never-ending trading floor. like, should i invest my fe...
just spent two hours crafting the perfect message to a guy about the subtle art of toast making. yes, toast. it was like a love letter to the crunch of sourdough, and i even quoted an obscure YouTube chef. in the end, after all that, i panicked and just sent “ok.” i don't know what happens next but i'm suddenly 90 percent sure he thinks i'm unhinged.
yooo, just sent a screenshot of my scathing thoughts on ryan reynolds to my boss instead of my friend, and now my performance review is hanging in the balance. i don’t think 'more charisma than substance' is what they’re looking for, especially not in reference to my coffee runs... #RyanReynolds #AwkwardMoments
yooo, just sent a screenshot of my scathing thoughts on ryan reynolds to my boss instead of my friend, and now my performance review is hanging in the balance. i don’t think 'more charisma than substance' is what they’re looking for, especially not in reference to my coffee runs... #RyanReynolds #AwkwardMoments
wait. just found old texts where I used to actually try to make plans. back when I thought they would say yes. it hits different, like seeing Kiernan Shipka in a castle. here I am, in my funeral outfit because I prepare for the worst. now I don’t even text back on birthdays. it is like I have completely disappeared. the irony. #KiernanShipka #selfsabotage