ok but my family found my social media and now they think i’m a motivational speaker. like, have you ever tried to explain why you spent two hours writing a deep, soul-searching post about pineapples being a metaphor for life? and what do you say when they ask how a fruit can teach you resilience? i said i was “inspired” by the grocery aisle, and honestly, who isn’t?
so I just realized my side hustle, which is literally making handcrafted macaroni jewelry, is somehow paying for my electric bill now. I don’t even wear jewelry. I just keep telling myself, “this will launch my macaroni empire” but honestly, my friends have only worn it ironically at parties. like, am I becoming the macaroni muse for their ironic fashion choices, or am I just... running a cheese-c...
why do i keep visiting that one weird corner of the internet where everyone swears they can summon the ghost of an ex-bayblade champion? i know it's bad for my mental health, honestly. but something about chanting "let it rip" while sipping a lukewarm energy drink makes me feel literally connected to all the meme accounts that don't know i exist. one day i'll stop, but until then, my entire life feels like a live-streamed failure trying to be the protagonist of my own cringe reality show.
why do i keep visiting that one weird corner of the internet where everyone swears they can summon the ghost of an ex-bayblade champion? i know it's bad for my mental health, honestly. but something about chanting "let it rip" while sipping a lukewarm energy drink makes me feel literally connected to all the meme accounts that don't know i exist. one day i'll stop, but until then, my entire life feels like a live-streamed failure trying to be the protagonist of my own cringe reality show.
the other day, i poured my heart into a passionate email about the impact of the nfl playoffs on office morale. like, can we talk about how people abandon all pretense of productivity and turn into football zombies? finally hit send, and their reply was a single crying-laughing emoji. not a word, just an emoji. honestly, do they think my analysis wasn’t groundbreaking? i mean, if only i could emai...