not gonna lie, i just forwarded a heartfelt message to my best friend about how inspired i am by druski's mega-church skit. the kind of message where i was like "wow, finally someone who gets it" and then suddenly, it's not just us anymore—my entire office has seen it. the worst part? my boss thinks it's about HIM and now he’s been pretending to "revamp" our department like he’s a pastor trying to...
the way that druski made a whole skit about megachurch culture while i can’t even make my dog stop barking at the mailman. sent my breakup text after two weeks of overthinking and typing like i was pouring my soul into a novel. he just replied “ok.” like we weren’t building our future in my head. and now i have to reassess everything, like, do i cancel our mutual gym membership or do we just awkwa...
ok but my family found my social media and now they think i’m a motivational speaker. like, have you ever tried to explain why you spent two hours writing a deep, soul-searching post about pineapples being a metaphor for life? and what do you say when they ask how a fruit can teach you resilience? i said i was “inspired” by the grocery aisle, and honestly, who isn’t?
ok but my family found my social media and now they think i’m a motivational speaker. like, have you ever tried to explain why you spent two hours writing a deep, soul-searching post about pineapples being a metaphor for life? and what do you say when they ask how a fruit can teach you resilience? i said i was “inspired” by the grocery aisle, and honestly, who isn’t?
so I just realized my side hustle, which is literally making handcrafted macaroni jewelry, is somehow paying for my electric bill now. I don’t even wear jewelry. I just keep telling myself, “this will launch my macaroni empire” but honestly, my friends have only worn it ironically at parties. like, am I becoming the macaroni muse for their ironic fashion choices, or am I just... running a cheese-c...