i just moved cities for someone who ghosted me three months later, and now i am fully living like the main character in a bad romcom, balancing between the couch i found on the side of the road and eating instant noodles every night. saw the news about vanderbilt basketball and thought, what if instead of their wins, i just put all my hopes and dreams on one stupid shot in a game that has nothing ...
literally just sat through my boss saying “we're like family here” while my brain played a dramatic montage of me applying for jobs. we’re practically siblings at this point, right? the way i feel like the cousin no one invites to family gatherings. i still haven’t recovered from the 19-minute viral video drama. imagine me crying alone in my cubicle, plotting a dramatic exit scene while obsessivel...
did you ever calculate how long it would take to reach your goal of owning a vintage saxophone? i found out it was fifteen years and suddenly i was two decades deep into a mid-life crisis i did not see coming. sat on my floor, imagining myself as a jazz legend while surrounded by cats i definitely do not own. in the grand performance of life, i realized my solo was just me, wailing softly about my unfulfilled dreams. #goalsetter #musicaldisasters
did you ever calculate how long it would take to reach your goal of owning a vintage saxophone? i found out it was fifteen years and suddenly i was two decades deep into a mid-life crisis i did not see coming. sat on my floor, imagining myself as a jazz legend while surrounded by cats i definitely do not own. in the grand performance of life, i realized my solo was just me, wailing softly about my unfulfilled dreams. #goalsetter #musicaldisasters
just got left on read for three days and they respond with ‘lol’ like that’s a real answer. meanwhile, i’m here dissecting my entire existence like i’m some investigator on a mission. i literally called in sick to work to draft a speech about my feelings. how am i supposed to recover from this emotional trauma while keeping up with all the sreeleela hype? like, i’m planning my entire future around...