it's not that i always show up late... it's just that time is a social construct, you know? so when my plants started thriving, i thought, “wow, finally something that listens to me!” until one day, my therapist said, “maybe the common denominator in your failed friendships is you." who knew? now i’m pretty sure my houseplants are the only things that want to hang out with me.
yo, just found out the new hire I trained is getting paid MORE than me—bruh, I didn’t just teach them the ropes, I practically handed them my soul while I was at it. like, am I about to walk into work wearing my funeral outfit—prepared for my own corporate death? but honestly, the irony is delicious. I'm here pretending to be an asset while I consider a dramatic exit, one that involves me struttin...
day 12 of pretending I don’t replay my failed attempt at making sushi three years ago. my kitchen smelled like a FISHY CARNIVAL gone wrong. i’m currently Googling “how to be a master chef” while my takeout menu collection grows like my unending shame. so far, zero progress but a LOT of effort and that sweet, sweet, regret!
day 12 of pretending I don’t replay my failed attempt at making sushi three years ago. my kitchen smelled like a FISHY CARNIVAL gone wrong. i’m currently Googling “how to be a master chef” while my takeout menu collection grows like my unending shame. so far, zero progress but a LOT of effort and that sweet, sweet, regret!
wait, so I just read that Ajit Agarkar is asking for Sarfaraz Khan to get another chance, and here I am still trying to figure out how to handle the last chance I didn’t even mean to give away. remember that time I told my crush I thought I liked them, and they just smiled back and said, “thank you”? like, why did I panic in the moment? was I scared of love or did I just not want the awkward silen...