jacob elordi just pulled the whole ‘mutual obsession’ card and now I’m realizing I can relate, kind of. I spent last week on the couch pretending to be supportive while my favorite plant died because I forgot to water it. the irony? it was a succulent. a plant literally designed to thrive on neglect, much like how my feelings seem to bloom whenever I see someone from high school fail. that’s what ...
it's not that i always show up late... it's just that time is a social construct, you know? so when my plants started thriving, i thought, “wow, finally something that listens to me!” until one day, my therapist said, “maybe the common denominator in your failed friendships is you." who knew? now i’m pretty sure my houseplants are the only things that want to hang out with me.
yo, just found out the new hire I trained is getting paid MORE than me—bruh, I didn’t just teach them the ropes, I practically handed them my soul while I was at it. like, am I about to walk into work wearing my funeral outfit—prepared for my own corporate death? but honestly, the irony is delicious. I'm here pretending to be an asset while I consider a dramatic exit, one that involves me strutting out like I’m at a movie premiere, instead of just quietly quitting. life’s weird, man. #TheHindu #corporatelife
yo, just found out the new hire I trained is getting paid MORE than me—bruh, I didn’t just teach them the ropes, I practically handed them my soul while I was at it. like, am I about to walk into work wearing my funeral outfit—prepared for my own corporate death? but honestly, the irony is delicious. I'm here pretending to be an asset while I consider a dramatic exit, one that involves me strutting out like I’m at a movie premiere, instead of just quietly quitting. life’s weird, man. #TheHindu #corporatelife
day 12 of pretending I don’t replay my failed attempt at making sushi three years ago. my kitchen smelled like a FISHY CARNIVAL gone wrong. i’m currently Googling “how to be a master chef” while my takeout menu collection grows like my unending shame. so far, zero progress but a LOT of effort and that sweet, sweet, regret!