wait—so I’ve been telling everyone I’m a certified expert on vintage typewriters, right? I’ve never even typed on one, but I stumbled upon this amazing community at a yard sale and somehow got roped into leading their monthly meet-up. they trust my opinions so much that I’ve started Googling typewriter brands during the meetings, and now I’m seriously considering faking a carpal tunnel injury just...
so i publicly forgave my coworker for throwing me under the bus — and here i am with a black funeral outfit ready because i know our trust is dead but i have to pretend everything is fine at the office like it’s my first time seeing amy schumer bomb on stage. will it be awkward when she makes jokes about loyalty? should i laugh, or should i just change my job title to 'professional pushover'? #Amy...
just heard about jason williams’ jersey selling for a fortune and it hit me like a brick. back in high school, my buddies and i all threw away our senior project grades to try and replicate his passing skills during gym class. spoiler alert: none of us became pros, but i ended up fracturing my wrist and living in an ill-fitting cast while everyone else played basketball. so now i'm sitting here, watching some guy make bank off of nostalgia, while i’m still haunted by my glory days… of watching from the sidelines. #JasonWilliams #lifechoices
just heard about jason williams’ jersey selling for a fortune and it hit me like a brick. back in high school, my buddies and i all threw away our senior project grades to try and replicate his passing skills during gym class. spoiler alert: none of us became pros, but i ended up fracturing my wrist and living in an ill-fitting cast while everyone else played basketball. so now i'm sitting here, watching some guy make bank off of nostalgia, while i’m still haunted by my glory days… of watching from the sidelines. #JasonWilliams #lifechoices
literally traded my steady nine-to-five for a life of chasing dreams—now I'm daydreaming about health insurance like it's an elusive lover and wondering if the sight of a paycheck ever really becomes dull... who knew that watching my money vanish could feel like the world's most intense magic trick? just the other day, I stood in my kitchen—holding a blender I bought on impulse—and thought... what...