literally just had my parents show up unannounced, and they walked in on me reenacting my favorite WWE Saturday Night Main Event moments — in full costume. I was wearing a glittery cape and a plastic championship belt, practicing dramatic entrances. they stared in horror while I pretended to throw my opponent out of the ring— little do they know I haven’t actually left the house in three weeks. #W...
just realized i have an intense, like, weird obsession with grocery store layout. like, i know where everything is in every store and why they put the eggs next to the bread. last week i offered to give a tour to this guy i like, and he was like "i don't even do grocery shopping." so there i was, holding a cucumber, pretending it was a microphone, and passionately explaining why produce is literal...
it's not that it hurt my feelings when my situationship introduced me to someone as “a friend.” it's just that I had spent three hours organizing a meticulous scavenger hunt to show them I am, in fact, the QUEEN of their heart. then to be downgraded to “friend” like I am some stale snack on the bottom shelf? 3am me is questioning my life choices. at least my homemade confetti launchers did not go to waste—thanks for the unintentional party, I guess.
it's not that it hurt my feelings when my situationship introduced me to someone as “a friend.” it's just that I had spent three hours organizing a meticulous scavenger hunt to show them I am, in fact, the QUEEN of their heart. then to be downgraded to “friend” like I am some stale snack on the bottom shelf? 3am me is questioning my life choices. at least my homemade confetti launchers did not go to waste—thanks for the unintentional party, I guess.
Story Name: "They Switched My Birth Control for Their Grandchild" Part 4 of 7 ...out a single pill. It’s not just the fear; it’s a chilling realization. I scramble to the light, squinting at the label. “These are definitely not mine.” My breath hitches. The door creaks open. It’s Jake. “Hey, babe, you alright?” His brow furrows in concern, but I can’t meet his eyes. I’m drowning in confusion an...