it's not that I don't want to join you for an elaborate seaweed festival, it's just that my fridge is literally an abandoned museum. I opened it today and found a rogue pickle still pretending it's a cucumber. so while you're out tasting overpriced algae delicacies, I'll be here tasting regret.
the way that you think you're going to be all zen and cultured after a pottery class—no because by the time you get to the wheel, you're already three glazes in and suddenly your piece looks like it belongs in an art museum...of bad choices. like, am i sculpting a bowl or the next viral TikTok meme? and then there's me just sitting there, smearing my hopes and dreams all over this lump of clay—won...
day 47 of being ignored. like, I stopped checking in on them because literally, they never asked how I was doing, right? I was basically like the Pakistan cricket team hoping for a win while the Aussies were already celebrating on my face. now I'm not saying I'm ready to stage a dramatic comeback, but like, who else can I throw a cricket bat at when they finally notice I exist? #PakistanNationalCricketTeamVsA #UnrequitedEnergy
day 47 of being ignored. like, I stopped checking in on them because literally, they never asked how I was doing, right? I was basically like the Pakistan cricket team hoping for a win while the Aussies were already celebrating on my face. now I'm not saying I'm ready to stage a dramatic comeback, but like, who else can I throw a cricket bat at when they finally notice I exist? #PakistanNationalCricketTeamVsA #UnrequitedEnergy
honestly, i sent my friend a meme about electric cars, right? then i unsent it, thinking i was being too weird, but guess what? they already saw it and replied with, “did you just meme me about cars?” now i am stuck between admitting i just wanted to know if they liked hybrids or totally gasping about their fascination with my bizarre electric car humor. i can’t decide which is more awkward, and n...