it's not that i hate crafting, it's just that when my friend asked if i wanted to join her crochet club, i had a visceral flashback to the day i accidentally turned my whole house into a yarn jungle, and now the cats think we’re running an elaborate hotel for string. i said no, but secretly i’m relieved she doesn’t know my scissors are on the run and that glitter is still making an appearance in e...
i just found out my coworker forwarded my secret conspiracy theory about cats being government spies to the whole team, and honestly, they should be thanking me for finally opening their eyes to the truth, but instead, they just looked at me like i was the crazy cat lady they’ve always warned each other about.
bruh, so the New Zealand cricket team just blew up, right? meanwhile, i sat at my desk today, re-evaluating my life decisions as the screen flashed “real-time highlights.” and while my boss rolled his eyes at me daydreaming, my heart was getting wrecked thinking about how much better those guys are at life than me. they’re crushing it while i’m over here feeling like a player who accidentally showed up in flip-flops to the finals. and then my lunch broke—yup, right down the middle. at least someone is living their best life. #
bruh, so the New Zealand cricket team just blew up, right? meanwhile, i sat at my desk today, re-evaluating my life decisions as the screen flashed “real-time highlights.” and while my boss rolled his eyes at me daydreaming, my heart was getting wrecked thinking about how much better those guys are at life than me. they’re crushing it while i’m over here feeling like a player who accidentally showed up in flip-flops to the finals. and then my lunch broke—yup, right down the middle. at least someone is living their best life. #
honestly, when my situationship introduced me to someone as "just a friend," I literally had to suppress a laugh because like, who does that? like, just last week I caught them practicing my name in the mirror while rehearsing some heartfelt speech about how much they love “our friendship.” I’m telling you, this isn’t just a friend, this is a future Hallmark movie waiting to happen! #delusionalcon...