i just found out my coworker forwarded my secret conspiracy theory about cats being government spies to the whole team, and honestly, they should be thanking me for finally opening their eyes to the truth, but instead, they just looked at me like i was the crazy cat lady they’ve always warned each other about.
bruh, so the New Zealand cricket team just blew up, right? meanwhile, i sat at my desk today, re-evaluating my life decisions as the screen flashed “real-time highlights.” and while my boss rolled his eyes at me daydreaming, my heart was getting wrecked thinking about how much better those guys are at life than me. they’re crushing it while i’m over here feeling like a player who accidentally show...
honestly, when my situationship introduced me to someone as "just a friend," I literally had to suppress a laugh because like, who does that? like, just last week I caught them practicing my name in the mirror while rehearsing some heartfelt speech about how much they love “our friendship.” I’m telling you, this isn’t just a friend, this is a future Hallmark movie waiting to happen! #delusionalconfidence #friendzonewarrior
honestly, when my situationship introduced me to someone as "just a friend," I literally had to suppress a laugh because like, who does that? like, just last week I caught them practicing my name in the mirror while rehearsing some heartfelt speech about how much they love “our friendship.” I’m telling you, this isn’t just a friend, this is a future Hallmark movie waiting to happen! #delusionalconfidence #friendzonewarrior
wait, my family keeps asking about my ex like they had some magical connection and I’m sitting here with my current partner, who thinks ‘this is a strong coffee’ means it’s been brewed for two minutes. meanwhile, I’m over here contemplating if my family would disown me if I tell them I think corey holcomb has more charisma than both of them combined. if laughter is the best medicine, do I really n...