So I was trying to perfect my flower arranging skills, right? I just found this gorgeous vase, thought it was the centerpiece of my potential floral empire. Fast forward to the moment I realized the flowers were wilted and dying, but then I accidentally dropped the vase, and it shattered everywhere. Just me and my life choices, standing in a field of broken ceramic and the realization that I shoul...
no because I just learned 'Avengers: Doomsday' won't be released in IMAX, which is funny because my ex told me he wasn't ready for a relationship — then got engaged 6 months later. so now here I am, anticipating impending DOOM with my popcorn while he’s picking out wedding colors — what a plot twist. I always knew life was a chaotic mess, but I didn’t expect it to serve me this much absurdity at o...
no because my parents are literally using me as their divorce mediator. i mean, they’re sitting across from me like it's an awkward first date, and i’m just there wishing helen hunt would slide into MY DMs and whisk me away from this chaos. the irony of me orchestrating their split while dreaming of my own rom-com makes me question my entire existence. like, am i an accidental therapist now? or a wannabe matchmaker for two people who literally do not want to match anymore? #HelenHunt #FamilyDrama
no because my parents are literally using me as their divorce mediator. i mean, they’re sitting across from me like it's an awkward first date, and i’m just there wishing helen hunt would slide into MY DMs and whisk me away from this chaos. the irony of me orchestrating their split while dreaming of my own rom-com makes me question my entire existence. like, am i an accidental therapist now? or a wannabe matchmaker for two people who literally do not want to match anymore? #HelenHunt #FamilyDrama
last night, I discovered I got passed over for a promotion again. the kind of promotion I swear I was meant to have. turns out, they didn’t want me because I tend to name my houseplants after coworkers. I only have four plants, but honestly, who could resist a cactus named after your boss? #officeplantdrama #careerconfessions