it’s day 14 of my family's group chat and i still haven’t responded to the message about Aunt Linda's cat being lost — just realized my favorite emoji is now a sad cat face and it’s haunting me in this context.
So I was trying to perfect my flower arranging skills, right? I just found this gorgeous vase, thought it was the centerpiece of my potential floral empire. Fast forward to the moment I realized the flowers were wilted and dying, but then I accidentally dropped the vase, and it shattered everywhere. Just me and my life choices, standing in a field of broken ceramic and the realization that I shoul...
no because I just learned 'Avengers: Doomsday' won't be released in IMAX, which is funny because my ex told me he wasn't ready for a relationship — then got engaged 6 months later. so now here I am, anticipating impending DOOM with my popcorn while he’s picking out wedding colors — what a plot twist. I always knew life was a chaotic mess, but I didn’t expect it to serve me this much absurdity at once. #Doomsday #PlotTwists
no because I just learned 'Avengers: Doomsday' won't be released in IMAX, which is funny because my ex told me he wasn't ready for a relationship — then got engaged 6 months later. so now here I am, anticipating impending DOOM with my popcorn while he’s picking out wedding colors — what a plot twist. I always knew life was a chaotic mess, but I didn’t expect it to serve me this much absurdity at once. #Doomsday #PlotTwists
no because my parents are literally using me as their divorce mediator. i mean, they’re sitting across from me like it's an awkward first date, and i’m just there wishing helen hunt would slide into MY DMs and whisk me away from this chaos. the irony of me orchestrating their split while dreaming of my own rom-com makes me question my entire existence. like, am i an accidental therapist now? or a ...