the way that people are losing their minds over jon ossoff got me wondering if i'm the reason my friends roll their eyes when i show up with a new playlist for their parties. like, are they just too polite to say my mixtapes suck? i can almost hear their collective sighs over "Dance With Me, Creep" that i lovingly crafted, while they discuss protests like they're tuning into the latest season of t...
yooo, so remember that time i told my ex i was training for a triathlon to sound more interesting? well, chris evans just got back into shape and now i’m over here in my pajamas, contemplating the integrity of my lies while my ex is out there running marathons and I can't even run to the fridge without losing my breath. i’m genuinely thinking about signing up for something just to prove it’s not a...
wait, so i spent the whole afternoon writing this epic analysis of my company’s latest initiative. you know, the one that’s definitely going to “revolutionize” our workflow? sent it off like a love letter, just waiting for validation. and what do i get back? a single thumbs-up emoji. i might as well have attached a sticky note that says “i guess i’ll keep pretending to care.” at this point, my emotional investment is in the new promo codes for prize picks. yes, please let me gamble my feelings away. #PrizePicks #WorkStruggles
wait, so i spent the whole afternoon writing this epic analysis of my company’s latest initiative. you know, the one that’s definitely going to “revolutionize” our workflow? sent it off like a love letter, just waiting for validation. and what do i get back? a single thumbs-up emoji. i might as well have attached a sticky note that says “i guess i’ll keep pretending to care.” at this point, my emotional investment is in the new promo codes for prize picks. yes, please let me gamble my feelings away. #PrizePicks #WorkStruggles
it’s 3 am and i'm standing in front of my closet, contemplating whether my funeral outfit is really the right choice for my upcoming existential crisis. like, how did i end up in a place where i keep a backup plan for dying alone while the lakers and cavaliers are busy worrying about ankle tweaks and rebounds? the game plays in the background and i realize i have been waiting for someone to swoop ...