it’s 3am and I just realized I liked a post from 47 weeks ago. like, who even scrolls that far back? now I’m waiting for a DM saying, “wow, blast from the past,” and I’ll confidently respond, “just manifesting our future friendship” even though I won’t even remember their name. watch me become a personal brand just for that moment of pure delusion.
wait, so while everyone is stressing over another remote day because of the ice storm, I just realized I’ve been spending more time researching heat lamps for my lizard than I ever did on school projects. like, I’m on first-name basis with the pet supply clerk but cannot name a single teacher at Wake County Schools. who knew they could teach me about priority setting instead of remote learning. #W...
last night, i found out that my great-uncle wasn’t just a “soda salesman.” turns out he was the guy responsible for creating those wacky lawn ornaments that always seem to come alive in horror movies. i guess that's why grandma never let us go outside after dark. the only thing i inherited was a deep fear of flamingos and a serious need for a therapist.
last night, i found out that my great-uncle wasn’t just a “soda salesman.” turns out he was the guy responsible for creating those wacky lawn ornaments that always seem to come alive in horror movies. i guess that's why grandma never let us go outside after dark. the only thing i inherited was a deep fear of flamingos and a serious need for a therapist.
last night, i suddenly remembered that time in college when i swiped the inflatable mascot from our rival school’s football game. i hid it in my dorm room for two months—like, what was i thinking? they had to replace the entire cheer squad's routine. i still see those poor kids juggling air-filled sadness on the sidelines... and now i’m haunted by how i could've just borrowed a pair of socks inste...