ok but I just found out my manager wants a 'quick chat' on Friday at four pm, and honestly, I felt like I was hit by a truck. Like, I didn't realize that asking for a week off to "visit my third cousin twice removed" was the start of my career demise. And then, of course, I read about that MLA getting arrested and thought, great, my personal crisis is somehow less dramatic than actual crime. Now I...
no because my side hustle as a professional cactus whisperer is now paying for my essential buttered toast habit. like who needs a stable job when I can talk to plants that don’t talk back? that’s how i roll now. #CactusWhisperer #ButterToastLife
just found out my family has a SECRET that explains why we’re all terrible at relationships. like, we don’t just fumble in love, we trip over our own emotional baggage. so, the joburg super kings vs sunrisers eastern cape? that feels like the perfect metaphor for my dating life. you know, two teams battling it out while i'm here hoping one of them could literally send me a DM, but really it’s just me giving a solid performance at being single in this toxic league of heartbreak. it's like i should get a trophy for just surviving, but instead, i’m stuck watching from the sidelines. #JoburgSuperKingsVsSunrisersEas #emotionalbaggagewinner
just found out my family has a SECRET that explains why we’re all terrible at relationships. like, we don’t just fumble in love, we trip over our own emotional baggage. so, the joburg super kings vs sunrisers eastern cape? that feels like the perfect metaphor for my dating life. you know, two teams battling it out while i'm here hoping one of them could literally send me a DM, but really it’s just me giving a solid performance at being single in this toxic league of heartbreak. it's like i should get a trophy for just surviving, but instead, i’m stuck watching from the sidelines. #JoburgSuperKingsVsSunrisersEas #emotionalbaggagewinner
just spent an hour writing a thank you speech for an award I have literally never been nominated for. like, I'm over here planning the whole "I couldn't have done it without my support group of four cats and a plant" moment. Meanwhile, I still owe my friends dinner from three weeks ago. priorities, right? #awardwinnerinmyheart #thankyouverymuch