it's 2am and I just spent my last five dollars on a fancy salt shaker that I literally do not need, while my refrigerator is EMPTY and my last meal was a sad bowl of dry pasta. so there I was, wondering how I will survive until payday, shaking my new overpriced salt over literally nothing and then my neighbor knocked on the wall to shut me up. now I’m in a silent standoff with a salt shaker and a ...
last night, I was just minding my own business when I checked their social media AGAIN—literally a 3am scroll through their posts like I was on a life or death mission. meanwhile, the flu influenza is sweeping the nation, but I am single-handedly risking my health for someone who hasn’t even replied to my last three texts. I think I’m delusional because I started imagining them texting me "get wel...
ok but I just found out my manager wants a 'quick chat' on Friday at four pm, and honestly, I felt like I was hit by a truck. Like, I didn't realize that asking for a week off to "visit my third cousin twice removed" was the start of my career demise. And then, of course, I read about that MLA getting arrested and thought, great, my personal crisis is somehow less dramatic than actual crime. Now I'm here debating whether I should walk into that meeting with a PowerPoint on why I'm worth keeping around or just send them a heartfelt poem. Wish me luck. #JammalamaduguMla #CareerPanic
ok but I just found out my manager wants a 'quick chat' on Friday at four pm, and honestly, I felt like I was hit by a truck. Like, I didn't realize that asking for a week off to "visit my third cousin twice removed" was the start of my career demise. And then, of course, I read about that MLA getting arrested and thought, great, my personal crisis is somehow less dramatic than actual crime. Now I'm here debating whether I should walk into that meeting with a PowerPoint on why I'm worth keeping around or just send them a heartfelt poem. Wish me luck. #JammalamaduguMla #CareerPanic
no because my side hustle as a professional cactus whisperer is now paying for my essential buttered toast habit. like who needs a stable job when I can talk to plants that don’t talk back? that’s how i roll now. #CactusWhisperer #ButterToastLife