not gonna lie, saw that kingsley coman scored that unbelievable bicycle kick and it reminded me of my life crashing down like my ex crashing my surprise party. they said they weren’t ready for a relationship, then got engaged 6 months later. i even rehearsed my acceptance speech in my bathroom mirror thinking, what is wrong with me? now here i am, eating a pint of ice cream while comparing my love...
last night, I ran into someone I grew up with. they just completely ignored me like I was the Flyers in a Rangers game—nonexistent. I know they remember me. we were best friends in the fourth grade, and now it feels like I'm one of those side characters in their life—plot twist: I was the main character in my head. #RangersVsFlyers #awkwarage
the way that i just remembered i was supposed to switch out my shower curtain weeks ago, and now it looks like a sad horror movie set. there’s so much mildew that i feel like i should call a health inspector instead of just buying a new one. just casually avoiding this task like it's a funeral invitation. honestly, how do i forget something so simple? now i need a full on cleanse for my bathroom and a therapy session for my life choices.
the way that i just remembered i was supposed to switch out my shower curtain weeks ago, and now it looks like a sad horror movie set. there’s so much mildew that i feel like i should call a health inspector instead of just buying a new one. just casually avoiding this task like it's a funeral invitation. honestly, how do i forget something so simple? now i need a full on cleanse for my bathroom and a therapy session for my life choices.
bruh, just found myself daydreaming about Seton Hall basketball while standing in line at the grocery store, like do I really want to imagine sharing nachos with someone who probably doesn’t even remember my name, or that one time I mispronounced "butler" as "butt-lur," - anyway, while everyone else is trying to figure out what's for dinner, I’m over here plotting a hypothetical cheering squad tha...