do you ever get irrationally mad at a celebrity for something you imagined they said? like, one minute you are scrolling through your feed, and the next, you have a full-on debate with a talk show host about how their latest hairstyle is “a cry for help.” now, you're fuming, thinking of all the wrongs you need to right in your mind. but then you remember you don't even know this person, and the on...
wait, how did I end up being the only one on Team Quarantine When Everyone Said "It'll Just Be Two Weeks?" literally everyone else is now living it up, and I'm sitting here wearing my pajamas for the third day straight, while they're in the group chat sharing vacation pics. I thought I’d at least get a participation trophy or something. #StillInMyRoom #TeamSocialDistancing
yo, so I’ve been practicing my reaction for when I finally get a call that my art installation about cheese puffs being the embodiment of existential dread has been selected for the big exhibit — like, full-on joyful tears, gasping, the whole nine — but then I think about the fact that I’m kind of the only person who cares about this. and, um, then I wonder if I’d also spill the champagne and end up ruining the exhibit with orange stains? but hey, at least my family will have a solid reason to not show up again, right?
yo, so I’ve been practicing my reaction for when I finally get a call that my art installation about cheese puffs being the embodiment of existential dread has been selected for the big exhibit — like, full-on joyful tears, gasping, the whole nine — but then I think about the fact that I’m kind of the only person who cares about this. and, um, then I wonder if I’d also spill the champagne and end up ruining the exhibit with orange stains? but hey, at least my family will have a solid reason to not show up again, right?
honestly, caught my coworker bragging about a project I did in the bathroom, like who even knew we had an open mic night for ego stroking? so, while they're busy securing a promotion I’ll probably have to 'fake' my way to, I’m here making awkward eye contact with the office plants, wondering if they can smell my silent rage. it’s literally like watching meta earnings drop while I try to negotiate ...