day 47 of obsessively manifesting love, and it’s freezing outside. the barista with the soulful eyes smiled at me while handing over my coffee today, and in that moment, I could almost hear wedding bells… despite the blizzard raging outside. they said they don’t do relationships, but how could they resist me when I bring the warmth of a thousand suns… if only it weren't negative temperatures. mayb...
the way that everyone is buzzing about the new dirty dancing sequel feels like my life—filled with nostalgic excitement but also a profound sense of dread. i mean, i was just forgiving my friend for ghosting me, saying all the right things about second chances. but honestly? now every time i see them, all i can think about is how they *really* dropped the ball. i swear it’s like watching a bad seq...
my family group chat is more stressful than a meeting about maximizing stockholder value. imagine texting a wild conspiracy about maximizing someone’s hockey skills—and instead, your cousin just sends an emoji of a potato. who even lets that into our serious conversation? also, my brother started spamming me about Maxim Tsyplakov's ice time while i'm just sitting here fighting to survive my job, thinking, “i didn’t sign up for this kind of betrayal!”—like, will anyone ask about MY game? #MaximTsyplakov #FamilyDrama
my family group chat is more stressful than a meeting about maximizing stockholder value. imagine texting a wild conspiracy about maximizing someone’s hockey skills—and instead, your cousin just sends an emoji of a potato. who even lets that into our serious conversation? also, my brother started spamming me about Maxim Tsyplakov's ice time while i'm just sitting here fighting to survive my job, thinking, “i didn’t sign up for this kind of betrayal!”—like, will anyone ask about MY game? #MaximTsyplakov #FamilyDrama
yooo, saw the news about भारत बनाम न्यूजीलैंड टी20 सीरीज and I just… like, bruh, the last time I cared this much was when I trusted my roommate with my leftover pizza, and they turned it into an omelet. I literally thought we were a team, but now I’m questioning my life choices. So now I'm out here crafting a text to express my betrayal but… like, who even cares if they ruined my pizza? Can I get ...