it's not that i’m outta shape, it's just that literally pulling my sock off this morning felt like i was wrestling an alligator or something. like, who knew there was so much muscle involved in taking off footwear? now i'm over here limping around the house like it’s some sort of Olympic sport. guess this is how my adulting journey is gonna go, one sock at a time. #socklife #adultingishard
just realized my 'meal prep' for the week consists of two single-serve frozen pizzas and a quarter of a watermelon because i thought it would be cute to add fruit. like, who knew my gourmet culinary aspirations would lead to me face down in a Tupperware, judging my life choices? now my kitchen looks like the aftermath of a food fight at a toddler’s birthday party and i literally can’t even look at...
ever had a song stuck in your head that you actively hate? like, why is '99 bottles of beer on the wall' playing on a loop in my brain like some twisted elevator music torture? it’s been two days and i’ve been mentally counting down from 99 for what feels like an eternity, but does it help to just sing the other verses? not even a little bit, turns out i’ve actually run out of bottles at this point.
ever had a song stuck in your head that you actively hate? like, why is '99 bottles of beer on the wall' playing on a loop in my brain like some twisted elevator music torture? it’s been two days and i’ve been mentally counting down from 99 for what feels like an eternity, but does it help to just sing the other verses? not even a little bit, turns out i’ve actually run out of bottles at this point.
ngl, I just dropped more cash on my favorite detective show's replacement than I did on myself this month, like I’m funding a whole new crime-solving initiative over here while my lunch is a single slice of bread, and I can’t help but think maybe my cat is the true detective – I mean, the way he stares at me, it's like he's dissecting my life choices one kibble at a time, truly a modern marvel, wh...