just realized my 'meal prep' for the week consists of two single-serve frozen pizzas and a quarter of a watermelon because i thought it would be cute to add fruit. like, who knew my gourmet culinary aspirations would lead to me face down in a Tupperware, judging my life choices? now my kitchen looks like the aftermath of a food fight at a toddler’s birthday party and i literally can’t even look at...
ever had a song stuck in your head that you actively hate? like, why is '99 bottles of beer on the wall' playing on a loop in my brain like some twisted elevator music torture? it’s been two days and i’ve been mentally counting down from 99 for what feels like an eternity, but does it help to just sing the other verses? not even a little bit, turns out i’ve actually run out of bottles at this poin...
ngl, I just dropped more cash on my favorite detective show's replacement than I did on myself this month, like I’m funding a whole new crime-solving initiative over here while my lunch is a single slice of bread, and I can’t help but think maybe my cat is the true detective – I mean, the way he stares at me, it's like he's dissecting my life choices one kibble at a time, truly a modern marvel, where are the Emmy nominations for that? #TrueDetective #CatIsMyDetective
ngl, I just dropped more cash on my favorite detective show's replacement than I did on myself this month, like I’m funding a whole new crime-solving initiative over here while my lunch is a single slice of bread, and I can’t help but think maybe my cat is the true detective – I mean, the way he stares at me, it's like he's dissecting my life choices one kibble at a time, truly a modern marvel, where are the Emmy nominations for that? #TrueDetective #CatIsMyDetective
the way that my boss announced another disappointing drop in box office sales for kartik aaryan’s latest movie, i instinctively said “mom...” like, i’m obviously reaching out for nurturing when a rom-com is failing to connect. now every time he scolds me, i have to remember that i basically invited him to adopt me. when will i learn that no one wants to pay for my emotional baggage? #KartikAaryan ...