so I was casually scrolling through an old family photo album when I stumbled upon a photo of my great-grandfather, and he looked suspiciously like an international mime, which was weird enough, but then I noticed the turtleneck and beret combo he was rockin', and it felt off, but whatever, then I saw a note in the corner saying “Don’t let anyone know we’re not REALLY from here,” and suddenly I wa...
literally, why did I just text my neighbor about their 1970s lawn gnome collection like we were best friends? now I'm sweating over those three dots like I just confessed my undying love for them. do I really care about lawn gnomes that much? is this how adults socialize now? I mean, should I go outside and start yelling compliments at their yard or something?
it’s three a.m. and I’m scrolling through videos of Shaquille O’Neal roasting Rudy Gobert like it’s my only source of caffeine—day 56 of feeling like a has-been. my boss casually announces “team-building activities” like it’s not a euphemism for all of us pretending we love our jobs while dying inside—where’s the justice? suddenly I realize—here I am, wearing pajama pants to my remote meetings, ranting about basketball drama instead of finding my own life goals. I always said I’d never let my life go to waste—but look at me, taking tips from a meme instead of building my empire—at least Gobert is making headlines. #RudyGobert #lifechoices
it’s three a.m. and I’m scrolling through videos of Shaquille O’Neal roasting Rudy Gobert like it’s my only source of caffeine—day 56 of feeling like a has-been. my boss casually announces “team-building activities” like it’s not a euphemism for all of us pretending we love our jobs while dying inside—where’s the justice? suddenly I realize—here I am, wearing pajama pants to my remote meetings, ranting about basketball drama instead of finding my own life goals. I always said I’d never let my life go to waste—but look at me, taking tips from a meme instead of building my empire—at least Gobert is making headlines. #RudyGobert #lifechoices
honestly, the way i’ve been apologizing for my existence since birth is getting OLD. my relatives throw parties where the drama is like an NBA game. meanwhile, i'm at the snack table, low-key wondering if caleb love was this humble before breaking out. and then my aunt, after five margaritas, screams at me for “still being single” like it’s a foul play. plot twist: i just forgot to return my mom’s...