honestly, i found out my ex was dating my friend because they posted a couple's pic. literally THE WEEK i decided to finally open that dating app again. now i’m just sitting here contemplating if a bad romantic choice was better than never making any choice at all. my profile is still blank, by the way. just like my dating life. #GoldMcx #AwkwardSilence
last night, i finally did the math on how long it would take to own my dream portable sauna. it turns out, if i skip groceries and any form of social interaction for a year, i might just get there. the moment of clarity hit me like a truck, and i realized i might as well start training to be a hermit now. so now my life goal is to avoid people for a whole year, just to be a sweaty mess alone in my...
so I was casually scrolling through an old family photo album when I stumbled upon a photo of my great-grandfather, and he looked suspiciously like an international mime, which was weird enough, but then I noticed the turtleneck and beret combo he was rockin', and it felt off, but whatever, then I saw a note in the corner saying “Don’t let anyone know we’re not REALLY from here,” and suddenly I was spiraling, thinking maybe I’m half mime too, which would explain my awkwardness at parties and my desperate Google search for "how to communicate without words" last week. I mean, how am I supposed to process the idea that I might come from a line of silent performers who’ve infiltrated normal society, while I’ve been over here struggling to remember the last time I wasn’t just awkwardly waving ...
so I was casually scrolling through an old family photo album when I stumbled upon a photo of my great-grandfather, and he looked suspiciously like an international mime, which was weird enough, but then I noticed the turtleneck and beret combo he was rockin', and it felt off, but whatever, then I saw a note in the corner saying “Don’t let anyone know we’re not REALLY from here,” and suddenly I was spiraling, thinking maybe I’m half mime too, which would explain my awkwardness at parties and my desperate Google search for "how to communicate without words" last week. I mean, how am I supposed to process the idea that I might come from a line of silent performers who’ve infiltrated normal society, while I’ve been over here struggling to remember the last time I wasn’t just awkwardly waving ...
literally, why did I just text my neighbor about their 1970s lawn gnome collection like we were best friends? now I'm sweating over those three dots like I just confessed my undying love for them. do I really care about lawn gnomes that much? is this how adults socialize now? I mean, should I go outside and start yelling compliments at their yard or something?