have you ever had a conversation that makes you question your life choices? my mom literally asked when i’m having kids again, and honestly, i had to remind her that the last time i checked, my dating life resembles a forgotten science project—growing some bizarre fungi but zero viable options. so now, i'm standing there, awkwardly chewing on a carrot stick, trying to look mature while dodging the...
not gonna lie, i’ve been feeling a bit like a stock market analyst after seeing that whole nasdaq index narrative about Netflix. i used to watch documentaries for self-improvement, and now i’m analyzing my partner's “Netflix usage” like it’s a quarterly report. it all adds up, right? turns out, they’ve been texting someone else while i’m over here analyzing my own bad choices like i’m some kind of...
the way that I found out I was doing the job of four people was while eating lunch at my desk—out of the corner of my eye, I see my cactus withering. I mean—do I water it? I’m trying to keep my head above water in this literal soul-sucking vortex of deadlines. suddenly I’m making emotional connections with my plant like “if you die, I might just spiral into a dark abyss.” then it hits me—if I can’t keep a cactus alive, how the heck am I supposed to handle my five new clients, organize that tedious spreadsheet, AND remember my lunch? that cactus is about to join a cult where it finally gets to rest in peace—while I embrace my new identity as the OVERWHELMED LIVING ZOMBIE.
the way that I found out I was doing the job of four people was while eating lunch at my desk—out of the corner of my eye, I see my cactus withering. I mean—do I water it? I’m trying to keep my head above water in this literal soul-sucking vortex of deadlines. suddenly I’m making emotional connections with my plant like “if you die, I might just spiral into a dark abyss.” then it hits me—if I can’t keep a cactus alive, how the heck am I supposed to handle my five new clients, organize that tedious spreadsheet, AND remember my lunch? that cactus is about to join a cult where it finally gets to rest in peace—while I embrace my new identity as the OVERWHELMED LIVING ZOMBIE.
last night, I literally wrote a whole thank you speech for an award I haven't even been nominated for. like, who knew that visualizing acceptance could spark so much joy, right? but then I remembered, the only competition I have in my life is trying to survive the crimson desert that is my motivation to get up in the morning. it's honestly tragic, yet here I am, ready to give my big moment to my c...