it's 3am and i’m scrolling through my life choices, literally questioning if i should send a daily text to the universe asking for better luck. then i find out about the 8th pay commission and instantly imagine a new me in some alternate reality where my salary doesn’t equal a sad emoji. checked my friend's phone while they were asleep to see if they were getting paid more than me. turns out, they...
I think if you borrow a half-eaten sandwich from someone and it takes two years to return it, you should have to undergo a formal review process. I mean, how does one just FORGET they owe a sandwich? What kind of unhinged alternate reality are we living in? At this point, I want an apology letter, complete with a sandwich-shaped certificate of gratitude for not contacting the sandwich police.
have you ever had a conversation that makes you question your life choices? my mom literally asked when i’m having kids again, and honestly, i had to remind her that the last time i checked, my dating life resembles a forgotten science project—growing some bizarre fungi but zero viable options. so now, i'm standing there, awkwardly chewing on a carrot stick, trying to look mature while dodging the fact that my romantic prospects are like a bad Wi-Fi signal—totally non-existent. but who knows, maybe my future children will come to me via carrier pigeon; they’ll definitely have stories to tell.
have you ever had a conversation that makes you question your life choices? my mom literally asked when i’m having kids again, and honestly, i had to remind her that the last time i checked, my dating life resembles a forgotten science project—growing some bizarre fungi but zero viable options. so now, i'm standing there, awkwardly chewing on a carrot stick, trying to look mature while dodging the fact that my romantic prospects are like a bad Wi-Fi signal—totally non-existent. but who knows, maybe my future children will come to me via carrier pigeon; they’ll definitely have stories to tell.
not gonna lie, i’ve been feeling a bit like a stock market analyst after seeing that whole nasdaq index narrative about Netflix. i used to watch documentaries for self-improvement, and now i’m analyzing my partner's “Netflix usage” like it’s a quarterly report. it all adds up, right? turns out, they’ve been texting someone else while i’m over here analyzing my own bad choices like i’m some kind of...