wait, so the other day I was literally at the grocery store when I saw my ex buying organic kale and I almost fainted. like, we literally spent our last date fighting over pizza toppings, and now he’s out here with a shopping basket full of greens, acting like a poster child for wellness. it was wild. what is even happening in this universe? #exdrama #groceryconfessions
not gonna lie, i once spent an entire week imagining what it would be like if my houseplant could talk. i even gave it a backstory about being a retired detective who solved the mystery of the missing remote control. each day, i would water it and share my deepest thoughts, and honestly, it just stared back, judging my life choices. so there i was, pouring my soul out to a fern named "Sherlock," a...
it's not that i'm hiding evidence, it's just that my camera roll looks like the diary of a delusional linguist trying to prove kannada isn’t just tamils' sketchy cousin. like, there’s a picture of a half-eaten dosa I made at 3am to calm down from my existential crisis about whether anyone actually cares about language origins. that's right, my culinary masterpieces are the only reason i think i'm still functioning. and don't even get me started on that video of me drunkenly reciting kannada phrases to my houseplant. it’s definitely getting weird in here. #Kannada #LanguageLaughs
it's not that i'm hiding evidence, it's just that my camera roll looks like the diary of a delusional linguist trying to prove kannada isn’t just tamils' sketchy cousin. like, there’s a picture of a half-eaten dosa I made at 3am to calm down from my existential crisis about whether anyone actually cares about language origins. that's right, my culinary masterpieces are the only reason i think i'm still functioning. and don't even get me started on that video of me drunkenly reciting kannada phrases to my houseplant. it’s definitely getting weird in here. #Kannada #LanguageLaughs
i just found out about this bonus share thing, and it hit me harder than when my family keeps reminiscing about my ex who apparently could cook better than my current partner. like, great, my current partner can’t even boil water, but at least we bond over our mutual disdain for that outdated throwback. meanwhile, they think i’m going to magically turn our dinner plans into a Michelin star experie...