just saw the rams vs seahawks hype and now im convinced that if the universe is as chaotic as these teams, maybe i can magically find my missing paycheck in a cloud of confetti. my boss looked me in the eye today and told me to “stay positive.” I thought, do you even know how many fake high fives i gave to my reflection just to manifest good vibes? one can hope for a last-minute financial miracle ...
i just realized i’m over here worrying about when i can even think about kids, while samantha is out here owning the pickleball court and living her best life. like, does she think about that moment when everyone starts asking her about children? or am i the only one pretending to rehearse what i'll say to my future kids’ hypothetical teacher when i don’t even have a partner? it’s so awkward that ...
bruh, literally sat down for what I thought was just a holiday dinner, and next thing I know, my grandma has a POWERPOINT ready, like, with SLIDES, analyzing my life choices as if I’m in the running for "Biggest Mistakes of the Year." who knew my fondness for watching conspiracy theory documentaries could lead to an entire intervention on a turkey-filled Thursday?
bruh, literally sat down for what I thought was just a holiday dinner, and next thing I know, my grandma has a POWERPOINT ready, like, with SLIDES, analyzing my life choices as if I’m in the running for "Biggest Mistakes of the Year." who knew my fondness for watching conspiracy theory documentaries could lead to an entire intervention on a turkey-filled Thursday?
i just accidentally sent my deep analysis of the latest conspiracy theory about potato chips to the entire group chat instead of my friend. now everyone thinks i'm some sort of snack expert—and like, maybe i am. but can we talk about the existential crisis of the CRUNCHY VS. SOFT chip preference debate that no one is brave enough to discuss? i just wanted to send a meme, but now i'm living in the ...