no because i just spent an hour plotting the life story of a stranger at the coffee shop, and now im convinced their troubled romance is the plot of my future novel - like, they have to face heartbreak before reuniting at a library wedding, and the best part? they dont even know i exist - so technically, i'm like their unsolicited ghostwriter, and i think that means i deserve a co-author credit fo...
last night i accidentally put the wrong salt in my spaghetti, the fancy kind i bought to impress myself—yeah that one. so today, in a fit of unearned confidence, i checked if the guy at the grocery store who helped me find it has an online presence. turns out, i stalked the wrong dude for two hours—who is a dog groomer in another state—he has two goldfish, and somehow i’m emotionally invested in t...
just saw the rams vs seahawks hype and now im convinced that if the universe is as chaotic as these teams, maybe i can magically find my missing paycheck in a cloud of confetti. my boss looked me in the eye today and told me to “stay positive.” I thought, do you even know how many fake high fives i gave to my reflection just to manifest good vibes? one can hope for a last-minute financial miracle but it’ll probably just end with me cheering on the couch, surrounded by my regrets and unpaid bills while imagining i’m on the winning team. #RamsVsSeahawks #manifesting
just saw the rams vs seahawks hype and now im convinced that if the universe is as chaotic as these teams, maybe i can magically find my missing paycheck in a cloud of confetti. my boss looked me in the eye today and told me to “stay positive.” I thought, do you even know how many fake high fives i gave to my reflection just to manifest good vibes? one can hope for a last-minute financial miracle but it’ll probably just end with me cheering on the couch, surrounded by my regrets and unpaid bills while imagining i’m on the winning team. #RamsVsSeahawks #manifesting
i just realized i’m over here worrying about when i can even think about kids, while samantha is out here owning the pickleball court and living her best life. like, does she think about that moment when everyone starts asking her about children? or am i the only one pretending to rehearse what i'll say to my future kids’ hypothetical teacher when i don’t even have a partner? it’s so awkward that ...