i just realized i’m over here worrying about when i can even think about kids, while samantha is out here owning the pickleball court and living her best life. like, does she think about that moment when everyone starts asking her about children? or am i the only one pretending to rehearse what i'll say to my future kids’ hypothetical teacher when i don’t even have a partner? it’s so awkward that ...
bruh, literally sat down for what I thought was just a holiday dinner, and next thing I know, my grandma has a POWERPOINT ready, like, with SLIDES, analyzing my life choices as if I’m in the running for "Biggest Mistakes of the Year." who knew my fondness for watching conspiracy theory documentaries could lead to an entire intervention on a turkey-filled Thursday?
i just accidentally sent my deep analysis of the latest conspiracy theory about potato chips to the entire group chat instead of my friend. now everyone thinks i'm some sort of snack expert—and like, maybe i am. but can we talk about the existential crisis of the CRUNCHY VS. SOFT chip preference debate that no one is brave enough to discuss? i just wanted to send a meme, but now i'm living in the snack-ademic of my own making. #Snackology #PotatoChipCrisis
i just accidentally sent my deep analysis of the latest conspiracy theory about potato chips to the entire group chat instead of my friend. now everyone thinks i'm some sort of snack expert—and like, maybe i am. but can we talk about the existential crisis of the CRUNCHY VS. SOFT chip preference debate that no one is brave enough to discuss? i just wanted to send a meme, but now i'm living in the snack-ademic of my own making. #Snackology #PotatoChipCrisis
ok but I just spent thirty minutes wondering if they ever think about the epic battle I won against that wasp in my apartment last summer. like, they definitely did not see it, but somehow I feel like it was a pivotal moment in our future together... or something.