it’s 2am and i just read that gold and silver prices are skyrocketing. while everyone else is mining for fortune, i’m still picking change out of my couch. my roommate casually asked if i believed in love during the news break. i panicked and replied, “thanks for letting me know!” now they’re avoiding me like the price of gold will crash if i look them in the eye. #SilverGoldPrices #LoveIsComplica...
just realized my boss praised the new guy for my idea in yesterday's meeting. honestly, the dude can’t even make microwave popcorn without setting off the fire alarm, yet there he was, shining like a fridge magnet on a summer day. oh well, maybe next time I'll present my ideas while juggling knives, just to catch their attention… or maybe just *make* the popcorn first, you know?
not gonna lie, the other day i found myself pacing in my kitchen while trying to ignore the fact that my coworker claimed my project as their own in front of the whole team. i even contemplated leaving my job to pursue a career as a professional overthinker. then i heard about the huskers winning big and realized they’re basically winning at life while i'm over here plotting revenge like a washed-up villain. i don’t even know if this is normal, but what if my life is just one big circus and everyone else is already in the front row? #SamHoiberg #LifeIsAWarZone
not gonna lie, the other day i found myself pacing in my kitchen while trying to ignore the fact that my coworker claimed my project as their own in front of the whole team. i even contemplated leaving my job to pursue a career as a professional overthinker. then i heard about the huskers winning big and realized they’re basically winning at life while i'm over here plotting revenge like a washed-up villain. i don’t even know if this is normal, but what if my life is just one big circus and everyone else is already in the front row? #SamHoiberg #LifeIsAWarZone
it's three a.m. and I just found out my secret cookie recipe was screenshotted by my neighbor, the same one who only ever says hi when they want free baking tips. honestly, part of me is DELULU MANIFESTING that they'll become a renowned pastry chef but also, imagine the drama when I subtly sabotage their sugar with salt just to watch their soufflé flop. because if they’re going to post about my co...