just realized my boss praised the new guy for my idea in yesterday's meeting. honestly, the dude can’t even make microwave popcorn without setting off the fire alarm, yet there he was, shining like a fridge magnet on a summer day. oh well, maybe next time I'll present my ideas while juggling knives, just to catch their attention… or maybe just *make* the popcorn first, you know?
not gonna lie, the other day i found myself pacing in my kitchen while trying to ignore the fact that my coworker claimed my project as their own in front of the whole team. i even contemplated leaving my job to pursue a career as a professional overthinker. then i heard about the huskers winning big and realized they’re basically winning at life while i'm over here plotting revenge like a washed-...
it's three a.m. and I just found out my secret cookie recipe was screenshotted by my neighbor, the same one who only ever says hi when they want free baking tips. honestly, part of me is DELULU MANIFESTING that they'll become a renowned pastry chef but also, imagine the drama when I subtly sabotage their sugar with salt just to watch their soufflé flop. because if they’re going to post about my cookies without giving me credit, they better be ready for a recipe reveal of a different kind. the irony would be DELICIOUS.
it's three a.m. and I just found out my secret cookie recipe was screenshotted by my neighbor, the same one who only ever says hi when they want free baking tips. honestly, part of me is DELULU MANIFESTING that they'll become a renowned pastry chef but also, imagine the drama when I subtly sabotage their sugar with salt just to watch their soufflé flop. because if they’re going to post about my cookies without giving me credit, they better be ready for a recipe reveal of a different kind. the irony would be DELICIOUS.
no because i genuinely thought by thirty i would have my life together and be living in a chic loft with a dozen houseplants, but instead, i still can't keep a cactus alive and my most adult decision is which microwave meal pairs best with my fifth rewatch of a reality competition show.